Cubicle culture
If Aliens landed on earth and took a look around the world, they could be forgiven for thinking that humans are just another crop to be grown and harvested, especially if they happened to wander into a modern day work office and saw all the busy little workers huddled in their office cubicles. ‘shudders’. They might have a conversation like this:
- Alien#1 “Dude, like, WTF? These humans live in cages like we keep chickens back home.” (That’s the way aliens talk.)
- Alien#2 “It’s weird. You think they eat them?”
- Alien#1 “I hope not. They don’t look very appetizing.”
- Alien#2 “I wonder if they taste like chicken.”
So here is a guide for our alien friends:
Not all humans are kept in office cubicles. Compare the two pictures here. First is a free-range chicken. Note the proud bearing, clear eyes and general demeanor.
Proud free-range chicken
Next are some battery hens.
Caged chickens
See the difference? Poor coloring, downcast look, and an air of defeat. It’s the same for humans. Here are some examples. First, we have a typical example of the free-range human male. Clear, keen eyes, six pack abs and a very friendly disposition. All free-range human males look like this:
Typical Human Male
And here is an example of a battery human, otherwise known as a cubicle worker. Note the similarity with the battery hens: downcast look, overweight, giving off a defeated vibe and generally heading towards his first heart attack.. Yes, it is true, we treat humans as poorly as we treat our food… Uncomfortable office chair, jammed into the tightest space possible – commonly know as office cubicles. Ergonomic? I don’t think so – does that look like an ergonomic office chair to you? No, it looks like a backache waiting to happen. Poor lad – he doesn’t even seem to have a computer desk. Or a computer for that matter. I was sure we had some office furniture designers somewhere, but they all seem intent on squeezing as much into as small a space as possible.
Human male forced to work in a cubicle
But it doesn’t have to be that way. Even if you can’t be a free-range human, you can make that office cubicle more comfortable with some personal touches that brighten your day. YouCube is looking for creative use of decorations in a cubicle:
Cubicle decorations
The wonderful thing about tiggers, is tiggers are wonderful things.
Just remember, you’re pretty wonderful too, despite the way your boss may treat you.
Send me your crazy, funny, or just plain, “I had to do something before I killed somebody” cubicle decorations. You never know, maybe you can brighten someone else’s day as well.
Chicago Cubs Fan
Comments on Cubicle culture
Your pages here are unique and entertaining. I’ll visit often.
A humorous take on a grim reality. I like it. Insightful with a generous sprinkling of hope.
nice cubicle. feels like home.
This is hilarious! I am going to make it a point to keep current on your articles. Thanks for the laugh!
Love the humor!
I wish I’d do something like that, but if I did, I couldn’t share it anyway. Stupid no cameras rule. Well, cubicle dwellers of the world unite!
nutty buddy’s last blog post..34: Ya’ll fat, and ya’lll eat too much
Thank you. You made my day.
You have no idea how badly I needed your humor. I just voluntarily traded my job as second in command of a $10 million Foundation (where I had my own office with a door thank you!) to work in a clerical position for a government office. The job change cut my commute (and gas cost) by a third, allowed my child to attend private school closer to home and gave me better pay and benefits. After a month in this position, I have finally stopped crying in the bathroom at lunch every day and stopped asking the question “what the f@!Ck did I do to myself?”
I figured the best way to fight misery is humor so I decided to join all of you crazy bloggers and launched http://www.caffeinatedcubicle.com/
Drop by and say hello!
Cubicle Dweller’s last blog post..Welcome to the Cubicle Farm
Love your blogs, my sense of humour.
- Anthony -
Anthony James Barnett – authors last blog post..The accidental Author
Great, Mark, loved it and am gonna read more of you.
The picture of the human male in the cubicle just hit too close to home. I agree that cubicle decorations can be a big help, but you really need an understanding management before you can get too crazy with them.
This hits it on the head. I feel the pain of the office cube life all to often. Any sort of decoration, or distraction from the gloom can definitely help out. Good stuff…stay strong cube brother!
I’ve been in and out of cubes my whole career and it was always a small battle to make the space effective and not completely dreadful. We just moved to a new building last week and I lost my office with a door and am back in a cube. However, I really don’t think I mind at all. I went from a windowless office to an 8×9 cube with a huge window overlooking Tampa Bay as one of my walls. Now I get to watch the sunrise over the bay each morning and the pelicans and dolphins all day. I’ve had to arrange my computer screen so that my back is to the window. So now when annoying cube space reality tries to interfere with my day, I just look out the window for a few minutes and relax. I’m not yet sure how to deal with being in a cube but not have any significant complaints. I’m not complaining of course, just bemused.
Heh.. USA. I have worked in ~10 companies during my life and I have yet to see a cubicle somewhere (I’m from EU)
hi anyone from brazil? happy to be here!
Eh… I’ve had this account and forgot about it….
Well, I’m here, and I want to tell you guys as soon as possible….
My baby just came to the world, can’t wait to tell you guys. ^_^
i am sooo excited!!!
I think your humour is spot on. I love to read your stuff. Keep it up.
This is really clever, laughed out loud. Arrived here via hubpages so will definitely be clicking on links in the future!